You’re Persian if (Part 7)

1. If in what city your great, great, great grandfather was ‘born-in’ tells other Persians everything they need to know about you…Esfahooni, Kashi, Hamedouni…You’re definitely Persian

2. If at a party your goodbyes on the average take about an hour…goodbyes for 20 minutes inside the house, 20 minutes by the door, and another 20 minutes outside by the car…as you bad mouth the host & other guests

3. You’re Persian if you try to avoid other Persians, even though you’re Persian…only Persians will get this one

4. If the elders in your family don’t believe anything at face value and still blame everything on the British…Kar kareh Inglisas. (Dayi Jan) Napoleon complex of a different kind…Vay Naane

5. If from a mile away you can identify a man as Iranian because of his bald head, bulging stomach or the way he walks…Persian male pattern baldness & the Middle Eastern stomach should both be trademarked; sheevan

6. If you’re 50 years old and your mom still calls you doodool Tala (gold member), or says fadat besham (I’ll die for you…) or you still don’t smoke in front of your dad…

7. If you use the word ‘so’ so so so very much…Persians tend to over emphasize a lot. Thank you so so so much, or I’m sooooo sorry…I bet you’re now going to notice this so so so much and be like Shahriar was soooooo right

8. If you or someone you know has or at one point had, a white Cadillac Escalade or a black Range Rover, I’m going to bet that you’re either Persian or a member of a gang. Other tell-tale cars: G-Wagon and any black Mercedes/BMW or white Tesla…

9. If your mom ‘really’ only asks 3 questions: 1. Are you hungry? 2. When are you getting married? 3. When are you going to give me grandkids? Or your dad only asks 2 questions: 1. When is your school over? 2. When are you going to start working?

10. And you’re definitely Persian if your mom or aunt or grandma runs out to your brand new car (BMW, Mercedes or RR) to put 2 to 4 raw eggs under the tires; or if they pour a cup of water behind you every time you travel! Persian superstitions are the best! Tof tof tof!