You are Persian if (Part 6)
Feb 1, 2021
1- If you were able to somehow get the Corona Vaccine, and your only affiliation in the medical field is the doctor you visit for your handicap placard (for your dad that only you use), or the doctor you wish would marry your daughter…you’re probably Persian.
2- If your dad or grandpa owns at least 4 sets of track suits they bought from Marshals or Ross and often times the tags are still on them
3- If women MUST be part of at least 4 DOREHS, and the men must be in a backgammon, poker or walking on Sunday mornings doreh/group…and the couple must be in at least 3 DOREHS (one very rich, one very fun, and one with their real good friends…(For when the other DOREHS are not doing anything)…
4- If the remedy for a cold or a flu, diarrhea or constipation, headache, nasty car accident, anxiety, sleepiness or insomnia is Chayi Nabbat…you must be Persian
5- If after every great business or marital transaction; or conversely after every business loss or almost-marital-transaction (beham khord)…Esfand is burnt…Persian
6. Your parents or grandparents still own the furniture they brought here in containers from Iran, along with their pillows and patoos (blankets) and the giant pots and pans…but forgot to bring the grant deeds (sanadeh melk – 2 pieces of paper) to the land (half of Tehran) they owned…Carter bemeereh
7- If nose jobs for your kids as well as which doctor…are as important as which school they go to…BTW Iran has the highest rate of nose jobs in the world (fact), so we’re just keeping our culture and traditions going
8- If your mom calls you every one of your brothers or sister’s names before she calls yours…and at the end says “dehhhh”
9- If you think being only with Persians shields you against the Coronavirus…100 of your closest friends…as long as they’re all Persians is safe…
10- If unplugging and replugging their GLWiz box makes you an engineer or a rocket scientist, and they know every Turkish actor and actresses name…and make you wait till the episode ends and then tell you ALL about what this or that jerk did…Definitely Persian.
