Top 10 Benefits of Covid

10- Don’t have to go to your in-laws on Shabbat…just ask them to leave the gondi outside the door

9- You don’t have to buy toilet paper for the next 15 years

8- You can eat and drink as much as you want and blame ‘anxiety’ (just make sure you can still pass through the front door when this is over)

7- Since you also started chewing on your shoes out of boredom, your relationship with your dog is so much better

6- You realize that there are actually ‘side walks’ and ‘streets’ around you that you can walk on and that humans really do live in all those houses – (who knew)?

5- You can stop shaving and putting makeup on…until your phone doesn’t recognize your face, locks it and calls the police on you

4- You realize that you’re just lazy and a procrastinator and it has nothing to do with having time or not…good to know

3- You realize that 6 ft is still not enough distance from some people and need at least 10 ft, maybe 12 miles or a city in between

2- Your couch is now equipped with ART (Ass Recognition Technology)…nice ass imprint…and you are close to getting your masters in fartology

1- The rest of the world finally realized: Anti-social: good, intelligent, patriotic, healthy Outgoing: baaad, irresponsible, dumb, selfish. Going to work bad, staying home good.